The Joy Luck Club—Open your heart
“All of us like stairs, one step after another. Going up, going down, but always going the same way.” This sentence is from An-Mei. It might not be correct, but in some way, it also illustrates the relationship between the mother and daughter, we are always linked together, the feeling we need each other is so strong. Watching this movie, I felt I saw myself, my mom, and the way we treat each other. Lack of communication might be the most important problem, why people just can’t tell others what they really want, what they really care about. In the film, the four mothers are Chinese immigrants and their daughters are America-raised, the culture’s different between mother and daughter lead to the different values, it might be another problem that we can’t understand each other. So, how to act properly as being daughters and mothers?
This film is talking about four stories of mothers and daughters. As immigrants, all of the four mothers have a tough experience before they come to America, they have A American dream that their daughter can’t understand. The American dream is a belief that life would be better and richer. They just hope their daughter not to experience what they have experienced in China, they hope their daughter can achieve something. But sometimes they express in a wrong way, so there must be a lot conflicts.
Just like Waverly and her mother Lindo, they have a conflict for a long time. They never express their real thoughts so that they misunderstanding each other for so many years. Waverly think Lindo was not satisfied with her. Lindo think Waverly was embarrassing and ashamed to be her daughter, and I think this thought hurt Lindo’s self-esteem so that she always shows she’s not satisfied with her daughter. And, the reason why Lindo would have this thought is that she is a Chinese woman. I think Lindo is an aggressive and very independent woman, Waverly just like her mother. When Lindo was young, she already knew what kind of person she wants to be and what kind of life she really wants, so she can leave her Chinese husband to the United States. She is so brave and intelligent, she’s not often smiling, Waverly is a little afraid of her even though she’s grow up. Lindo didn’t give Waverly enough attention, praise, and affirmation. No matter what Waverly do, she just can’t get her mother’s favour, it hurts Waverly a lot. She is always thinking how to please her mother. But Lindo never know Waverly’s thoughts. Waverly and Lindo never had a good communication until Waverly’s getting married.
Q：This is not the first time that you play in China. You played Chinese Billiard before. What`s the difference between the two envents？（这不是您第一次来中国比赛了。您曾经参与过中式台球的赛事。您觉得这两种项目之间有什么差别？）
They never want to hurt each other, but why their act make others misunderstand? Why they do that? It reminds me of the Pygmalion Effect. Praise, trust and expect have a kind of power, it can change people’s behavior, when a person get another person’s trust and praise, he will feel won the social support, so as to enhance the self value, become self-confidence, self-esteem, and achieve a positive power, and try our best to reach the other side of the expect. We influence each other. Pygmalion effect tells us, to a person transfer positive expectations, will make him progress faster and better development. On the other hand, with one transfer negative expectations will make the person giving up, give up efforts. Waverly and Lindo didn’t give each other any positive behavior, so they just can’t get positive response, I think it may be a circulation. If no one gives the first step, the circulation would never stop. In Waverly is still a child, her mother didn’t give enough praise, even though Waverly is growing up, she still feel her mother is against her all the time. What’s more, they don’t communicate too much, they even don’t know each other’s real mind. They both refused to compromise, it results in the conflict be there for so many years.
R.Halliday：Great! They are different games and I think 9 ball requires a lot more and needs better position. You need to play the cue ball better. But in Chinese Billiard，potting is more important.（非常对。这是两种截然不同的运动，9球需要更全面的技术和更精细的走位，你需要将母球控制得更细腻。而中式台球更注重准度的要求。）
There are full of confusion and misunderstandings in our life, because we always think what we think is right and then do the wrong thing. Sometimes we will feel that we are so strange that we can’t understand each other. But please open heart and open mouth, try to forgive them. We never know what they mean to us until we lose them, and please don’t wait until that time. When people closer, they are easier to hurt each other, I believe even the misunderstanding is still a kind of love. In the film, June never understand her mother even though her mother dead. June said, “I didn’t know anything about her(June’s mother)”.
Q:This is a special match for you because you face Team China as well as the Chinese supporters. How did you solve the problem and how to deal with the pressure？（这是一场特殊的比赛，因为你们面临的中国队拥有太多主场的支持者。你们是怎么解决这个难度怎么应对这种压力的？）
June’s mother is Suyuan. Suyuan hopes June can get the best, be the best, and be the best piano player in China. She thinks June can be anything, anything she wanted. Whether Suyuan’s really think so, but June believes she is thinking and Suyuan had really said so. June doesn’t like piano and she know she doesn’t have the talent, she think her mother never see that what she really is. June wants to prove her mother was wrong, she didn’t have any talent, she is only an ordinary person, as an ordinary person, she also thought she didn’t deserve the best. When she grew up, she would say she is modest, always take care of others. I think Suyuan’s expect must be a big pressure to June, June will feel hurt if she doesn’t meet Suyuan’s expectation, and she doesn’t want to let her mother to be disappointed. For a little girl, Suyuan’s expectation is too hard. June even thought she must be the big disappointment in her mother’s life.
R.Halliday：Yes，when you play in someone`s own ground，it`s not always easy. But I used to play a lot in China，so I didn`t think too much about it.（是的，当你在别人的主场比赛时，总是特别困难的。不过我多次在中国比赛，早已习惯这种氛围，所以我并没有顾虑太多。）
But absolutely, there’s a misunderstanding. One time, after a quarrel at the dinner, Suyuan told June that she never expect, only hope, only hope the best for June, it’s no wrong to hope. But she never knows every time she hope for something June couldn’t deliver, it hurts June. June said, “And no matter what you hope for, I would never be more what I am, and you never see that what I really am”. Her mother’s hope just likes a big burden, not love.
J.Le Roux：I think the pressure is equal to all the players. But I didn`t feel much pressure.（我认为压力对双方都是公平的，而且我也没有感受到过多的压力。）
Mothers always think their kids should get something what they think is the best, but most of the time, it’s not what the child really want. Mothers never ask, only commands. In Chinese traditional concept, the family not only represents the absolute power of parents, but also means the interdependent relationship between parents and children. But in America, the individualism values encourage people struggle, stressed self realization and independent consciousness.
Q：You played in China for a lot of times，and you also become more and more famous here. Can you say something to your supporters？
In the film, the four mothers try hard to be Americans, to accept American values, but in fact, they still agree with Chinese culture. For their daughters, they didn’t have a clear cognition for china, they even don’t know how to speak Chinese, they agree with American values and way of life. When mother and daughter talking, mother used to say “you Americans blabla ”, and daughters used to say “we Americans blabla ”, they divided each other into different group unconsciously. So there must be a little prejudice between them. I think it may be a reason why June wants to prove her mom is wrong, I still remember when June was a little girl, she ever said to her mother, “I am not your slave, this is not china, you can’t make me”. It’s cute, but it also hurt her mother. Besides, the different values are also the reason why Lindo thinks Waverly must be embarrassing to be her daughter.
R.Halliday：Yeah I think Chinese fans are the best. They are always behind you，and you can always expect full crowed. I love to play in China.（是的，我认为中国拥有最棒的球迷，他们一直在你身后支持着你，你也可以憧憬一下座无虚席的看台。我非常喜欢在中国比赛。）
Lucky, in the last two generations have buried the hatchet. Mothers broke the silence and have a communication with their daughter. When daughters meet difficulties and frustration, mothers on their own initiative to help them to analyze and solve problems, and encourage them. On the other hand, as the growth of the age, daughters began to listen to mother’s talk, and gradually understand mother, and thinking the relationship between mother and daughter. They totally understand how they care and love each other.
J.Le Roux：I didn`t play in China，and it is the first time. The people welcome me，and I`ll come back later.（我还没有在中国比赛的经历，这是第一次。但是这里的人热情欢迎我们，我会再来的。）
This film let us realize the communication problem between mother and daughter, it’s helpful for us to avoid misunderstanding and conflict between mother and daughter. No doubt, it really touch me, it is amazing. Each daughter is mother’s hope. No matter misunderstanding, conflicts, or something else are the performances of love. The more we love, the more we hurt. All we need to do is open our heart, understand them, forgive them, be kind to them, and love them.